I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
