my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
