Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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