its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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