thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
