i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
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BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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