apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
