Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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