I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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