It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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