Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
