lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
