i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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