I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
