Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
