ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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