I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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