i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize