i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
