I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
