you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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