I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize