I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
