I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
