I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
