sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Of course I have a pirate flag
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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