Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
