your parents love me but you hate me
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we should paint friendship bongs
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