He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
