I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
