i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
