I wanna passion pit in your ass
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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