i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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