god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
