check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
