why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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