He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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