Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize