what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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