Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize