used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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