I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
