so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
