she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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