lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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