all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
