You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
