i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
