Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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