Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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