FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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