let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize