she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We talked him into tasing himself.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
