Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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