saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
