My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
