we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
