giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize