i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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