there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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